Thursday, May 24, 2012

Trouble In Mind..

A place of Refuge

Hello Jazzlovers,

It is a beautiful day today..

To Beautiful to be troubled!!

But I am troubled so I must write it out..I am giving it to the Universe and letting it go...

I am normally a very happy person and don't let things I have no control over get to me..but I think I am a little venerable right now.. Nina Simone "Trouble in Mind"

I am back in my home town after being gone for most of my adult life, I have visited and have stayed a while, but I always knew I would be leaving so it was OK.. I knew what it would be like coming back and I really don't have a problem with it...I am actually happy to be back, I need to be clear on that front..My family is absolutely wonderful!!! Della Reese "Being Green"

One of the things I have always had a problem with is hypocrisy!!I have lived my life openly and honestly..So I was very surprised at something that happened last sunday!!( To be honest I expected it) Yet it did surprise me..LOL. For some reason last Sunday I decided not to go to church,It is a community event so I do enjoy going and being amoung people I have known all my life..So My decision not to go was unsual...When my Family returned they were a little vague as to how it went...Until a little later in the evening when they let it drop that the sermon was on Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve...(They can not get pass that one!!Can They?)!!! Della Reese " Fire and Rain"

I felt betrayed because before I started going back to church I had the conversation with the Minister, and asked if they had a problem with it I would not return,,and I was very comfortable with that decision...I was assured that it would not be a problem..I think the Universe for keeping me home last Sunday..I don't think I would have kept quiet...You see I am a Child of this Universe and I did not ask for this GIFT of being me...I am going to live this life and play the hand I have been given until the end...I have a strong loving and giving heart,that I am so grateful for..I see and work at creating Beauty!! If there were no Adams and Steve's there would be very little Beauty on this earth and what a dull place it would be...I really believe this.. Della Reese " The Games People Play"

The Controller of this Universe is amazing and does not make mistakes and I am a true Child of This Universe...I celebrate that!!! I can only answer to The Universe for me no one can answer for me and I can answer for no one else.. Della Reese " I've Got to be me..."

One More..... To say thanks for listening Jazzlovers I feel much Better.. Loving Spoonful " Daydream"

Ok One more!!

See I amfeeling better.... Mama Cass " Dream a little Dream"

Well Jazz Lovers

Saturday, April 21, 2012

I've Come This Far By Faith

Faith Is Personal...

Hello Jazzlovers,

It is a rainy Day Here today...

I have never written about Religion or Faith because I feel like it is personal.... Sitting out on the front porch having a fag,this post started running through my head...So that I am clear I am only writing about my personal one Else's, only mine...I feel like we are all trying to get to the same place, it is just that we are taking different highways...My route is different now than it was when I was a child...I am becoming disillusioned with Church and Religion..Don't get me wrong,I do belive that there is something in this Universe Bigger than me. James Clevland " I don't believe he brought this far"

I am very grateful that I had the Church,and the Masjied in my life as a child, it taught me many lessons on goodness and discipline in my life..Those early days have been my Rock and my Faith runs deep!! But Not like everyone Else's...I am having much trouble with Church and with religion right now..I grew up between three religions and realize that the messages are almost the same..But I cannot live my life looking at the end of my life!! I was put down here to Live, to Learn to be free..I can not believe I was not meant to make mistake's , to enjoy pleasure, to love someone,That is what forgiveness is all about! Isn't it? The Barrett Sisters " I don't beieve He brought me this far"

I have been a "Child of the Night" and loved every moment! But I have never done anyone any wrong,Langston Hughes once wrote " Children of the night will give a snake a break" and that is the truth...I loved the Night Life,I enjoyed the people and I have had much fun,and I have met some wonderful people and made friends that will last a life time..I also still have friends from my child hood..But the discipline I learned at My Very religious Grandmother stayed with me and kept me safe!So I have to believe that there is a Creator of this Universe.. Aretha Franklin " Going down Slow"

When I was out there loving the Night Life, People were real!I loved the music and the dancing better than eating...Mater of fact I saved lunch money to have the price of a ticket and a couple of drinks,LOL before I could afford it.. I wanted to experience it all and I did,but it does not mean I lost my faith or my belief in A Creator of This Universe..I just found the People of the Night more honest if!!If they were a Thief,You Knew they were a thief!!They did not hide it..You Knew a Lier when you met them!!They too did not hide,,A Loose man or woman admitted the were fast..A Nice Guy or a Lady was respected and left an alone or/and Procter!! Langston was right... Cassandra Wilson " Children of the Night" The Jones Girls " Children of The Night."

I have always been honest and open with my life, even when I did not know I was, it is hell tryi,ng to live a double life..and for safety there are times you have to try...You must allow other people to fool themselves at you expense..Don't get me wrong I have made mistakes in my life lots of them,but I have learned from most of them and tried not to repeat them...But that's like!!I have Loved and I have been Loved,and I can find no wrong in that..I found a book in a junk shop when I was just a kid,The title was "The Lord won't Mind if it is Love" I am so happy I found that book, It saved my life in many ways..It came along when I was having a serious Identity cries,it helped me to decide to life my life as I was,,,To play the hand I was dealt,and I have no regrets..and I think that is what the Creator of This Universe want of us !! My God does Not make mistakes... Nina Simone " My Way" Shirley Bassey " My Way..

Well Jazzlovers Until next time.

Keep the Beat...

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

It's Is MY Life

My Life

Hello JazzLovers

It is such a beautiful Day today..

My head today is both looking back and looking forward,being home is very interesting..
I am so grateful for my life and the way I have lived it..but sometimes I think those who did not leave might be the lucky ones..It amazes me that a lot of people I know and have known all my life are still in the same place, I just can not figure out if they are happy,they say they are but there is a sadness in their eyes that can not be denied..The jokes are the same,the laughter a little brittle and too loud,slightly brittle,also basically doing the same thing..playing the same games..            Skip Intro..

Don't get me wrong I am not saying there is anything wrong with their lives,it was their choice and I can accept and live with that..I am making new friends and I am also a person of interest right now...(LOL) and I am also enjoying their company..Oddly enough they are interested in my life,and realize I am still the same person that left all those years ago..I am reconnecting with people that I enjoyed before I left and all of them also have traveled and have a lot to talk about..It is all positive and I am loving being home it was time..even reverting to my initials as I was called as a child and i realize there are people even in my family that don't know my name...Amazing!! One of the things I am discovering is I have never been invisible...Thank God I have never tried to hide my like.(People were paying attention !              Lena Horne "Maybe"

I became an adult when I was molested by the school janitor when I was 6 years old, I vowed I would never be venerable ever again..that is when I decided to make my own way in this world...That is about to soon to lose innocence!! My whole life changed at that moment..I do still trust easily until it is broken and then it can never be regained,don't get me wrong I have friends in my life that would trust with my life and vise verso...But because of that incident my sense of awareness is is very high,and I can spot devious people a mile away..(The Book "Blink" explains it very well) which keeps my heart open to new people and experiences..                 Nina Simone " My Way" 

I plan to write about how my life has changed from the time I was 6 years old until now..and why I am happy with my life as it has been until today...My life has been fascinating I have done things I only dared to dream as a child, But I never felt I could not do anything I set my mind to do and I have never been afraid of hard work...I dared to dream bigger than what I knew...Life is for the living!! So go out there and get yourself some live Honey!!!              Shirley Bassey" My Life"

Well Jazzlovers Until Next time,

Keep The Beat.

DW Jazzlover...

Thursday, April 12, 2012

Finding My Way Home

Thursday, April 12, 2012

Finding My Way Home


Hello Jazzlovers,

I have been away for a very long time. I hope you have not forgotten me but it has been ragingstorm for the last 6 months and there as been very little music running through my head. So let me try to tell you about it, just the fact that I am sitting here writing this post is a Mirical with in it's self... I went in for some test and woke up from a coma 4 days later!!

Now in a coma a person can hear everything being said you just cannot respond, I heard the Dr. Say D-----P----- will die tonighr..So I waited to die amazingly there was no fear,(I belive the journey just continues at a different level) But I did not die that night, I don't know if it was the first night or the 3rd night because I woke up on the 4th day wirh my best friend sitting by my bedside....

Nine Months later I am home with my Family and I feel fine...My Family have been remarkable in their Love and Care of me,,,My Thing have arrived and Iam seeting up my room as I I am surronded by things I love..I am back in the area I grew up inand friends are so great in their joy of seeing me once more..It is Fantastic...I am also accepted just as I am now....But in the past I feltlike a "Stranger on This Earth"

So Jazzlovers Life is really for the Living and as the Old Folks use to say "Just keep Living Sugah" And "Never say Never". I am Very happy right now..I do miss my friends but a Group of us plan to meet in Amsterday{My Favorite City in The whole World}this there is something always to look forward to....!!!

Well Jazzlovers I leave you with Love..and Miss Della Reese...My Favorite Song...Never give up on Love...

Well Jazzlovers until Next time ,

Keep the bear!

D W Jazzlover.....