Sunday, December 29, 2013

I am a Man, I am A Black Man, I am a Same gender loving Man and I am OK With That

The beginning.
Hello Jazzlovers

Another Beautiful Day to be On This Earth.

I had an interesting experience this week that started me to thinking, Someone asked a few weeks ago why did I choose to be Gay? My Answer was " for the same reason I chose to be black." This week I was told that I don't act Gay! and that gave birth to this FB Post that I feel I should share with my Blog readers. So here goes.    " I've Been here Before- Deja Vu "  Tina Marie

I prayed and debated a long time before sitting down to write this post! But after having 3 near death experiences, I feel I need to express exactly how I feel about Life and Gods Love. I had an interesting experience the other day when a neighbor said to me " You don't act gay! "My answer was how do gay people act? But it started a process of thoughts in my mind!
So I will attempt to explain my ...thought process after the question. To start with I am Male, second I am a Black male, and I am a same gender loving male, none of which I had a choice in being! Yet each one of the labels carry a different set of rules and perceptions of what each one denotes.
The known are I am not now, nor do I desire to be a female (I love my sistas with all my heart, Women are remarkable!). Being a black man carries it's own set of issues to be dealt with, Then add same gender loving man to that adds a whole new dimension to the equation!

 Same gender loving men who are not stereotypical confuses, ( down low) , Those with a strong X chromosome,( Effeminate) are more accepting, because they are more visible. Society deals a little better with this..
I support my effeminate brothers with all my soul because if not for them we would nor have the freedom we have today( Stonewall 1968), but my MENTOTRS were James Baldwin, Langston Hughes, Bayard Rustin,( Father of the Civil rights Movement, Malcolm X, Hughie Newton, Men who loved men and still worked for out freedom. Their sexuality did not define their actions or their contributions to our freedom.   Queen Latafah  "I know Where I've been"  

 Plato and Darwin were right about natural selection, we would all be a lot freer if we could love who we were destined to love. When heterosexuals ask the question when did you choose to be gay? My answer is exactly the time you chose to be straight!!

Now I know some of you are now going to throw the Bible at me! The same book they used with colorful beads and Missionaries that lured you and I out of Africa out of Africa and into slavery with! But I serve a Living, Loving God that intended me to be just who I am!! I know my time is short on this earth but I am so filled with gratitude for the gift I have been given to see the beauty and being able to create beauty and to keep a loving heart in spite of the hate I face every day of my life.   "The Ways To Love a Man"

 I close by saying I am A Man, I am A Black man in every since of the definition and I am a Same gender Loving man and I have Loved and been Loved . I live-in gratitude of Gods love.
Jazz lovers I leave you with my Favorite Della Song, my theme song and I have been blessed enough to live it.  "The I have been looking for"
Well Jazzlovers until next time, 
Keep The beat!
D W Jazzlover

Sunday, December 1, 2013

The Down Low

Hello jazz lovers

Happy Holidays.

I had an Interesting experience in Church today. I got the DL eye from a very unexpected place!!And No It will not Happen!!! I assure you of that fact. But it did start me to thinking..

I have just Finished J.L.Kings "On The down low" and realize he cashed in!! It is Hype for Women. I think I will Blog about my findings..He has finally admitted that he is Gay and yet does not want to be a part of the gay community! I understand that, he still has a lot of self hatred in his own life and made money on it..I offer no disrespect to the Man it is his life after all. I just see it differently that's all.

 I was born at the end of the 1940's and grew up in the 50's and 60's, I knew I was different very early in life and was not really like other Boys even though I like doing boy things and really enjoyed being a boy!

As I grew I began to understand what was what, I knew Fem guys and realized early that I was not "Like That". But at the time it was serious business not to be visible, the messages from Church, Family, and Society was not accepting of Same gender loving men or Women although for women they often got a pass due to men's fantasies of two women together. but for men it was totally taboo! 80% of the same gender loving were on the DL or Closet the stakes were just too high to be visible, so a separate society was formed with in a society. There were meeting places, parks, greyhound, almost anywhere and He is right it is always eye contact.

In the 20's,30's 40's and 50's there was a code for those "In The Life" Certain color ties, The color of Hankies in a suit pocket, certain code words known in the cities example The term "A friend of Dorothy's". But as a whole a complete life to hide..When the gay revolution started in the late 60's, 1968 to be exact, things began to change in the White communities in larger cities but small towns and the south stayed the same even until today! We could not allow relationships to become visible in the Black Community, so the DL became a way of life..It will take decades for that to change..But no one is free until all are free!

The one good thing about his book is alerting women not to live in denial about their men it really can save their lives. But until the stigma of Men loving Men is removed DL men will be around for a long time.. He climes to accept his Homosexuality but if you really listen to him it is obviously clear that he does not. I do understand his thinking, All through time you are told your natural being is wrong and that you are not suppose to exist is a very hard row to hoe! people still think it is a choice. The only choice open to men is to live your life or live a lie. It is like Bleaching Cream is still one of the biggest selling products around the world. When You question my color you are questioning God and his creation, it is the same with sexuality. The DL was created by the society in which we live.

My Next Blog will be more in-depth. Della Reese To Love A man..

Only one song this time and until next time
Keep The Beat

D W Jazzlover. 

Saturday, October 5, 2013


Available on Amazon Kindle.

Hello Jazzlovers,

It has been a little while since I have been here. I keep my self busy all the time, since I have been away I have completed a Quilt, created a fabric, made new friends, and I actually sat down and wrote a book! This is the song I played a lot while accomplishing these things.    Victoria Wilson James "Perseverance Works"

I am not really concerned that the book sells, the important thing is "I Did It." The accomplishment is what's important. I have been writing in a journal since 1979 and there is a book there too, but not yet, I am not ready for that. This was a book that came out of my head, it is a different kind of love story, and I know it is not for everyone. Life is happening all around us and it really could happen like I wrote it. I do believe it is possible.  Queen Latifah " I know where I've Been" 

I still believe in Love and I am a firm believer that the "The Lord Win Not Mind if It's Love," I read that some where when I was very young and held on to the thought all my life. Two of the characters in the current book has started to speak to me and I have started their story, "At Last Home"   Etta James " At Last" Live

Here is what I learned while writing this book! A healthy new respect for writers, I had to ger out of the way and let the Characters speak for themselves, they will say what they want to say, I learned I have forgotten good grammar! That was the hard part. But I did it anyway!!! I learned a book does not always flow start to finish but reveals bits and pieces of where it has been and where it is going and it was my job to understand that. It was a wonderful experience. And I am feeling good. Nina Simone  "Feeling Good"

It is a brand new day for me My Friends.

Until next time Jazzlovers

Keep the beat.

D.W. Jazzlover.