Friday, April 15, 2011

Do You Know who You Are?

A very Dusty Day and Rain In April!!!!

Hello Jazzlovers ,

I am sitting here thinking of many things, I realize I have much more time behing me that I have a head of me...I had a conversation with my sister last night as i was getting ready to go out with friends and My Sister said a couple of time " I know You" and when I was having dinner with my friends a couple of time they also said " I Know You"! I am totaly different when i am with family than I am with friends....So I started thinking..Does anyone ever really know us?Do we know ourselves..

There was a time in my life in between Lovers when I was totally lost,When I dressed to go out, I chose a persona to be that night and i got into charater..and thats who i was the whole night....But one night and i will never forget it.....!!!! I put my hand on the doornob and i had no idea of who was going out!!! What a frightning feeling that is when I realized that I had worked so hard to please people and be what they wanted me to be, that somehow I had gotten lost.....Needless to say I did not go out that night!!!That brings a smile to my face...But it was the turning point in my life....

I have only had 5 lovers in my life,( Yes I still believe in Love) Number 6 is
Circuling  Now!!!  All of my lovers have been long term. Now if you ask the family, they all think I am wild!!!LOL, It will be interesting when I go and they get together and i will be the center of attention,I would love to be able to hear those conversation....But if i was doing all the things that was present in their minds !! I would not be alive today!!You see I learned a lot from my mother...She too was a lost child, but the strongest Woman I have ever known...I am a love child and being a love child I have both my mothers heart and My fathers heart...I was a total mystery to them both!!LOL because I have both there shared traits......and I am so grateful for that...I am just starting to understand my father...

The only consistant thing in life is change..and after the first whore i fell in love with the only thing i required of my lovers was fidelity!  Trust me you don't have to waste anytime looking for it, if they are not true you will walk upon it!!! So do not wase any time looking for it...Trust was my most important thing in life....Until I met my last lover...A much bigger Whore than the first one!!LOL But my nose was open to the max,,I would have eaten ten miles of shit to find out where the scent came from!!!I am laughing my butt off right now!! Love is a MF!!!!! But unfortunitly I fell in love with a serious liar>>>>So when the trust is broken There is no reason to stay Pack your bags and go.....Never wait when you become unhappy!! I remember people asking how long are you going to stay here, or on this job, or what ever ,and my answer has always been " Until The day i become unhappy!!You Know I really meant that!But to get to this place you must take a serious look at yourself..Because no one is going to love You until you know, understand, and Love yourself!!! 
Life is an amazing journey!!!

And you know I am going to leave it here and come back Jazz lovers because this font has decided to go left on me....and i am not about to get frustrated!!!!Opps due to the font change I left you hanging Jazzlover,I do now know myself and because i have lost all my baggage except a Carry-on, I Now have friends who know me also...I have found i am easy to know....
" A Friend is some one who knows you, Knows all about you..And Loves you anyway!!! I really Love My friends...LOL 

I really did not plan for this to be a Della Reese evening but She is saying what I need to hear...!!!

Never give up on Love Jazzlovers and next time i will explain how I now know who I am....I am still in the conversation!!!

Until Next Time Jazzlovers...

Keep the Beat!!

And remember it is not that easy being Green!!!

DW Jazz Lover.

Much Love!!!!!


  1. Amazing how long it takes us to give up on the lost cause we thought we loved. I know exactly where your at D. and the lies...LOL!
    Gotta stop hanging with 'Ho's' brother. you and me both.

  2. Amazing isn't it? The things we put ourselves through until we really find ourselves...LOL

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  4. Hi Carolyn, Good Show, I think I am speaking lightly on a deep subject...I really think it interesting to understand how differently all of us see the world and ourselves....
    Della Is My Main Lady!!I use to drive my friends,lovers, and family crazy because all I listened to for years was Della..